It is said that one fine morning, in the nation errrr I don’t exactly know, Nasrudi Hoja bought a little donkey on the market not far from his home. When he’s about to return to his house, both Nasrudin and his son dicided to ride the donkey together. Not far from the market, there were a group of people shouting.
“Hi Nasrudin, how dare you to let that little donkey ridden by two people at once. How heartless!!”
“I see, I regard what they said as a good opinion.” Nasrudin then got down of his donkey but but his son, Nasrudin kept his son riding the donkey .
“It’s much better.” Said Nasrudin by his heart. Shortly thereafter, another group of people laughed at him.
“Look at that foolish, he bought a donkey just to be riden by a little boy. Oh what a shame!”
Nasrudin got so furious, he couldn’t help with the word they said. Without much comment, he dropped his son off the backs of donkeys and he got himself on the back of the donkey, riding a donkey alone.
“That’s better.” Nasrudi casually riding a donkey while he let his son holding the rope that tied his donkey. At the intersection not far from his home, he heard a group of people whispering to each other.
“What a dare father he is, to let their children walk alone while she casually riding his donkey. Oh God why!” Nasrudin’s face suddenly got so red. He could not stand the various comments of others, he eventually took the extreme decision as a compromise. He got down of the back of his donkey, and he carried his donkey on his shoulder along the way home.
Throughout the trip, everyone laughed out loud at him.
The story with some modifications I have told above is analogous to the possibilities existing comments in the human head if we decide to do or not to do something. If there are a thousand heads in a room, then there are possibly a thousand different opinions about something.
I’ve been living in the nation where “what others say” is most considered, I’ve been born and arisen in such nation. I’ve been taught to always consider “what others say” before I dicide to do or do not do something, since I was a kid. “What other people say” seemed to have become an important unwritten rule, regardless of its variables. No wonder if somebody wants to make a decision, the first point to consider is “what others say”. That kind of habit constantly internalized, from time to time to reach the levels: someone does not recognize his own voice anymore. I am not alone, I probably was representative of many this nations are experiencing similar things.
So if you make a priority over, whichever is higher precedence? Intuition / sound coming from yourself or others’ opinions? Perhaps one of the stanzas of my favorite poem explains that kind of phenomenon:
“Baiknya mengenal suara sendiri dalam mengarungi suara-suara luar sana.”
Melodia – Umbu Landu Paranggi/1965
More or less, the meaning of the stanzas above is “It’s better to know our own voice before we learn to hear others’ voices out there”. When you have a plate of rice as your breakfast, which is more primary, the rice as the main menu or side dish? As an Indonesian, I’ll definitely say “rice” for sure. Then, if it’s so, which is “the rice” of your decision,your own intuition or “what others say”? Which one is the primary one?
Asking for and listening to feedback of others’ opinions is a must, accepting or rejecting their opinions is optional, it completely depends on you. Confronting the mainstreamness of “what others say” inevitably may hurt others’ feeling and may couse some trouble, but are you sure if you dicide to get along with “what others say” will not bring you some trouble or hurt others’ feeling? Every decision has consequences, respectively.
“Do what you feel in your heart to be right, for you will be critized anyway. You will be damned if you do, and damned if you do not. “
Probolinggo, March 18, 2013